The Decolonial Parent

a continuous work in progress

  • on being an older mother

    on being an older mother

    The biggest thing I’ve experienced coming into motherhood at the cusp of middle age is the sheer wonder I have for something that almost passed me by. I almost decided not to have any kids, but I just couldn’t fully commit to that decision, and I guess this is why.

  • Parenting in an age of genocide

    Parenting in an age of genocide

    This cannot be the world we want to raise our children in. Thankfully for now, my child is too young to observe, note, or understand the atrocities taking place (in Gaza principally but not solely), but how can we explain to them how we are watching this horror show unfold like it’s just another Netflix…

  • Sustainable living (the personal kind)

    Sustainable living (the personal kind)

    As the primary caregiver of a breastfed, contact-napping, cosleeping, velcro baby, I need to find ways to top up my cup in the slivers of time I get to claim as mine. I can’t wait for a day off, or even until nap-time, so what can I do instead? These are my main tactics:

  • Liniment oléo-calcaire

    Liniment oléo-calcaire

    Multicultural life is exhausting, so it’s soothing to find things that feel like wins. Something like, being able to pull from multiple different cultures. Yes, I genuinely pick and choose what part of each culture I want to keep and what I want to ignore. I believe that sticking to things “because that’s how we’ve…

  • How we cloth diaper

    How we cloth diaper

    Maybe we got lucky but we feel like it has been pretty easy to cloth diaper our baby. We decided early on in pregnancy that we were going to give it our best shot, and spoke to a lot of parents who started then stopped or who intended to cloth diaper but then didn’t. Based…

  • breastfeeding is hard – my story

    breastfeeding is hard – my story

    This is a read best left for those who are seeking reassurance and solidarity in their breastfeeding struggles.

  • Notes from Confinement

    Notes from Confinement

    These are the incomplete ramblings of a new parent in the first weeks of my child’s life. Questions welcome!

  • Working during pregnancy

    Working during pregnancy

    It’s wild that we expect pregnant people to be full-time economic actors during their entire pregnancy. With how gross, destabilising, hormonally chaotic, and simply painful pregnancy is, we still expect people to show up to a job and perform its responsibilities as if they weren’t a living, breathing chrysalis with a solar storm raging within.

  • Learning from my own lessons

    Learning from my own lessons

    Speaking personally, the hardest thing to reconcile growing up mixed was the way my European (and religiously Christian) parent dismissed a lot of my Asian parent’s cultural observances with religious logic. Whilst faith and festivals are often intertwined, it’s still possible to celebrate the festivals and what they teach us about our history and culture.…

  • Why I’m doing postpartum confinement

    Why I’m doing postpartum confinement

    Yes, the truth is that I am under no obligation to do a postpartum confinement. I am not fully Chinese, my partner’s family is not Chinese, and I don’t live in a Chinese community. There is no social or cultural expectation that I would follow any Chinese traditions of any kind (including all those feast…

  • Race and Culture, Race or Culture?

    Race and Culture, Race or Culture?

    Recently, a couple of conversations have arisen in various circles I frequent that I feel kinda uniquely positioned to speak to. I grew up mixed both racially and culturally, and the extent to which both have shaped me is informing the ways I plan to navigate these issues with my own children. This will be…

  • Release and Ready

    Release and Ready

    Do you have a point of focus for the year ahead yet? It’s not for everyone, but I typically find it helpful to sit quietly with my thoughts at the turn of the calendar page. This can take any form: barefoot during the silence of a new morning with a hot cup of tea and…

Figuring it out too? We’d love to hear from you!